Somewhere Between Octo-mom and Madonna...

So we're not setting out to have a bajillion kids "of our own," but we're not going to fling some $$$ around like Madonna, either. What are our plans?
Well, right now, they're not too specific. We have about a year (13 months and 6 days, 5 days in a few minutes, not that we're counting or anything) before we can even begin the paper chase. A **lot** can and does happen in that time, in the international adoption world. In the domestic -- that's something relatively "new" we're researching, but it doesn't seem like a lot will change in that arena. I guess a Q&A type thing would make this easiest.
Q: Why international? Don't you know there are a lot of kids here that need parents?
A: (Vanessa) Well, international is mostly where I feel called... The Feed the Children thing started it all, and then there's Hope for Orphans of the World (.org) and a little boy named Denis I'll tell you about next time. In Ukraine specifically, there's about an 80% chance a child who grows up in an orphanage won't really "make it" in society. Prostitution (for girls), prison (for boys), drugs and street life, and/or suicide are the most common outcomes. They're viewed as second (or third or fourth) rate citizens. At the age of 15 or 16, an orphan in Ukraine is basically handed some change, and let go. Some go to a trade school, but none really have a complete high school education. They go from a very structured setting with absolutely no choices, to deciding EVERYTHING, from how to spend what little money they have, to time management, to making it to trade school classes on time and with proper supplies. While those percentages DO absolutely exist in the US, chances are a lot better an orphan or child in state care will eventually "make it" in life. More aid is more widely available. Do some kids still manage to fall through the cracks? Sure. Which is only one reason I've started reseaching more about domestic.
Q: What's holding you back?
A: Longer waiting times, the ultimate goal of DHR, stories we've heard from other people, and quite honestly, stubborness. Stubborness? Oh yeah... I (Vanessa, again) have been adamantly against DHR, for lots of reasons... The biggest being, the goal of DHR is to keep children within their biological family. That may be with an aunt, cousin, etc, but "studies have shown" that children have the best chance to succeed in life when they remain in the "original family unit." That being the case, we're heard of several families, both recently and in years past, who have been basically "promised" a child or a sibling group, kept that child or those children in their homes for years, thinking they would be able to adopt them, and for various reasons, those children were ripped out of their foster home (for some, the only home and only parents they had ever known), and placed in the biological family home. Could our hearts take that?
There are other ways... There are some Christian, non-profits who do domestic adoption. As I read more about open adoption, and open my heart and mind to different ideas, I see how it definitely can be (or absolutey is?) a positive for the child. And thats ultimately whose interest should be placed first. (More on open adoption later, that's a post in itself!) Longer wait times... We've already waited 3 years. It's like we're standing in line, to get in the line to actually get on the ride.
Q: So couldn't you just, like, do whatever Octo-Mom did or something?
A: Um. You really want to get me going, huh? LOL Actually, if ya don't want 5 or 6 or more kids, ya shouldn't really transfer that many enbryos. They just might all make it through the implantation stage, then there's the whole twin thing. And we have researched those options and looked at what we could try to do. And weighed those options against scripture. And the whole adoption-as-a-calling thing. Honestly, while I (Vanessa) absolutely DO feel called to adopt, I do not necessarily feel the same way about being pregnant and giving birth. There are some women who do feel so, and that's fine, and probably right for them. Really it's not a lot different than one person feeling called to become a preacher, and another becoming a teacher. Both, if they are Christians, are supposed to live Godly lives, and do many of the same things. It doesn't really matter if a mom gives birth or adopts, she is still supposed to be a Godly mom, and raise her children in Christ.
Q: So you're saying you want to be Brangelina or Madonna?
A: Insert lots of eye-rolling here. Another don't-get-me-started-moment. One of the drawbacks to international adoption is the possibility for a high level of corruption. Notice I said possibility. It really depends on the country. China is a very stream-lined, organized, no-surprises, predictable country as adoptions go. Some of the former USSR countries, as you can imagine, are a little (or a lot) less predictable, and let's just say money sometimes talks. And talks fast. The good thing about celebrity adoptions are, they kind of bring about an awareness of the need for adoption. The bad thing is, that awareness is not always positive. A biological family is reluctant at first to let their child become available for adoption, and one of the aforementioned mothers is involved, and suddenly, the family decides the child will be adopted. Maybe they really did, then again, maybe a certain "M" celebrity threw something a little extra in there. And let's also just say, the speed at which some celebrity adoption occur, and the length of time between new children coming into the home, are shockingly different from say Joe Schmoe attempting the same things.
Q: So???
A: So, we wait for God's perfect timing. He will bring our children to us (actually Isaiah 43:5 says He will bring them from the east) however and whenever He sees we are ALL ready. Maybe it will be a few more years. Maybe it will be months. But for whatever reason, God is still preparing us, or our children, or their biological parents, or someone involved in the process. The children's song "He's Still Workin on Me" applies. In the mean time, we help care for our niece and nephews. We play with them and let their Mamas get some work done and get called the Fun Aunt and Uncle. We teach kids at church. We sing. To be honest, we also occasionally enjoy being able to sleep in on Saturday, or decide on Thursday we're leaving town for the weekend, or make last minute plans with other people who don't need baby-sitters.
Tune in next week for..... eh, something to be determined. Scriptures related to adoption? Bible characters involved in adoption or orphans? Hope for Orphans and my little friend Denis? How adoption parallels what God did for us? Why I (don't) want to Be Like Mike? See, I told you I had lots of posts in my head! ;)